The Courage to be Disliked
Being happy by freeing up ourselves with the chosen path we love.
Hi there, it’s me again.
As I said before, I’ll tell you what I read. But first, let me share about the book that brings me having that excitement about emotional intelligence. The name of the book is “The Courage to be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga or “berani tidak disukai” in Bahasa translation. Actually, I’m not interested that much in self-improvement books and something like that. This book belongs to my sister, and I unplanned to finish this one before. But I did. Although the diction is not my kind of style.
In one sentence, I can describe this book consists of a conversation between youth and philosopher. They mostly talk about youth’s struggle in social life, relationship, and everything in between using the philosophers’ point of view — and lots of denying from the youth (or maybe from our deepest heart?)
To be honest, I can’t finish this book in one sit. Each chapter punches me in the face. //inhale-exhale// It makes me realize that I have suffered a lot in my 20s and I can’t handle it right. I guess you are as well.
The book discusses how we can be happy on our own, have the responsibility for our life with the path we chose, and how we see interpersonal relationships as what’s matters that bring us to hardship, struggles, inner battles — whatever you name it. The book also talks about freedom, why you need to choose freedom instead of being liked or loved or adored by everybody, and freeing yourself instead of following the standard of a loveable person.
There is one paragraph in the almost last chapter that hits me hard. It told us that sometimes, we are afraid of our future and regretting our past at the same time. It’s like we’re directing the spotlight too far ahead and back in a long road so, it’s going to be blurry, isn’t it? That’s us seeing the life that we’re scared of. Me. Ya, I know, sometimes my worry isn’t reasonable enough.
Actually, all we need to do now is having the spotlight where we are today, here, at this time. Life is collecting moments, we need to live our lives in every moment and do it as well as we can. Because each moment almost doesn’t come twice (Are you watching Reply 1988 scene when Junghwan regretting his late action for DeokSeon in the traffic light? Don’t let us be him anyway). Although we know we are growing up while holding the pain, or unprivileged, or just destined the way we unwanted. Learn to embrace it might help us feel grateful. I’m also trying with it and somehow it avoid me from feeling regret and less worthy.
And I think of re-read that book again one day. Just to make sure if I truly get better with myself, so I don’t need to stare at the wall for a moment wondering how unhappy I was while reading the book. Lol. I did it before so it takes me weeks for finishing chapter by chapter for not so thick book.
That’s all from me. Thanks for reading this amateur book review. After finishing this one, I’m so excited to explore more about psychological things like emotional intelligence. I have wish-listed a book How Emotions are Made, The Secret Life of The Brain but can’t find it in a local bookstore here. So I’d go for another similar book, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. Still haven’t finished it yet anyway, so it will be updated one day I don’t know.
